Homeschool Blues

March 23, 2008

You might be a homeschooler if…

1. You’ve been asked “so, like, do you have any friends?”
2. You’ve experienced the pain of BJU Press…
3. …sometimes mixed with Saxon math.
4. You’ve been asked “so you get to do whatever you want all day?”
5. You’ve been asked “can you do school in your pajamas?”
6. More than one of your friends lives in the country.
7. You’ve ever been enrolled in The Potters School.
8. You have at least two friends that have 4 or more siblings.
9. You’ve been asked “so who teaches you?”
10. Upon hearing the answer “my mom” they’ve asked, “did she have to like go to college to be a teacher?”
11. You like Apologia science, and Apologia only.
12. You and all your friends know Rosetta Stone is the best language program.
13. You’ve been asked “do you have gym class?”
14. You classify the world into two types of people- the people that say “LUCKY!” upon hearing you’re homeschooled, and the people that say “wow that must stink” when hearing it.
15. You’ve been asked many times when you get up in the morning.
16. You’re sick of people asking you when school ends and when school starts each day.
17. You don’t understand how lucky you are that you don’t have to eat cafeteria food.
18. You wake up every morning laughing, knowing that your public school friends are already in first or second period.
19. 2/3s of all your “field trips” take place in your back yard.
20. You know you’ve found someone extraordinary when they can actually make a half-decent homeschool joke.
21. You know that if that defines extraordinary, about 1 in every 50 people are extraordinary.
22. When you go out to stores during school hours you’re asked “school kids have the day off today?”
23. You try ever so hard to smile and say “No, I’m homeschooled” but you really just want to roll your eyes and walk away.
24. You’ve been outside during school hours and a cop has actually asked you why you’re not in school.
25. Snow days are a big joke in your family.
26. Your science project is in the fridge, and mom has to ask you to taste-test it to make sure it’s not the casserole.
27. Your dog is dissected and exhumed when you say it ate your homework (just to be sure!). Oh, right, IT’S ALL HOMEWORK!!!
28. The principal’s office is decorated with dirty laundry and Tide detergent.
29. You sure know how to rock a long denim skirt and Birks!
30. Field trips to WalMart and the post office are totally acceptable.
31. You have enough siblings to be your own basketball league.
32. With the exception of a set of twins, you are always the top of your graduating class.
33. And the bottom, unfortunately.
34. Your mother sometimes threatens to quit her job.
35. The principal can use corporal punishment.
36. You aren’t really that different from those in public schools, they just expect you to be.

Oh, and I once got a comment from one of my friends at school: “But you don’t LOOK like a homeschooler!”.

… seriously, people. What does a homeschooler look like? Did you expect me to have transparent skin, massively thick glasses, greasy hair, zits, a jean skirt, a head-covering, and a dictionary in one hand and a calculator in the other to top it off?! Gosh, people!


One Response to “Homeschool Blues”

  1. Meagan said

    HHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is soooo funny (especial since i experienced almost all of the above the other day)! Did you write this???

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